Hormonal

I am super hormonal these last few days, maybe because I'm 36 weeks pregnant now and I know I'm about to meet my son and hold him and kiss him and give him lots of love. Okay now I'm crying, see like I said.. SUPER hormonal!

I am overwhelmed with how grateful I am that I made it this far (at 34 weeks found out I was dilated to 2 and that frightened me), and that I made it past Emma's birthday which was June 22nd and her birthday party which was June 25th. I'm grateful that despite a few problems here and there with my other 2 pregnancies I had fullterm healthy babies. The last 10 years I have worked with babies who were born weighing 1 or 2lbs and spent months in the hospital, or had some really bad syndromes that will affect them the rest of their lives so I know how lucky I am. I'm grateful that I have never had to deal with any fertility issues or miscarriages or anything of that nature that so many of my friends have had to deal with. I have been reminded this last month how I shouldn't take it for granted after another friend suffered a loss. I am grateful that I have a husband who without complaining takes over household chores and preparing meals and giving kids baths because he knows I need to be off my feet and resting as much as possible. He tells me all the time to sit down and relax even when I say I'm fine. I'm grateful for great insight, over the last 6 years we have made financial decisions that have allowed me to barely work so that I can be home with the kids. And once again my husband has supported me in that, understanding how it benefits the kids. I am so in love with family, I couldn't be happier. I'm going to really try and enjoy every minute of this baby, even during middle of the night feedings. Easier said than done perhaps, but I am going to try! And I am going to try really hard to get my patience back, because I lost it during this pregnancy.

Hormones are a crazy thing, they can be good, like now when I'm feeling all happy and grateful, but they can be a bad thing like when I see a pregnant person who is 2 weeks ahead of me and she's way smaller. That happened today in the doctors office, and it ended up being a co-worker of Josh, which made it even worse. But at least today I was dilated to 3, so the end isn't too far off and I can get back to a more normal size and wear normal clothes again and not feel like a whale!